How to Do the Work PDF Book by Nicole LePera


Click here to Download How to Do the Work PDF Book by Nicole LePera English having PDF Size 7.3 MB and No of Pages 261.

Poets and mystics always seem to have their transcendental awakenings somewhere divine—on a mountaintop, while staring off into the open sea, by a babbling brook, next to a burning bush. Mine happened in a log cabin in the middle of the woods, where I found myself sobbing uncontrollably into a bowl of oatmeal.

How to Do the Work PDF Book by Nicole LePera

Name of Book How to Do the Work
Author Nicole LePera
PDF Size 7.3 MB
No of Pages 261
Language  English
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About Book – How to Do the Work PDF Book

I was in upstate New York with my partner, Lolly, on what was supposed to be a vacation, a retreat from the stress of city life in Philadelphia. As I ate my breakfast, I pored through the pages of another psychologist’s book, my version of a “beach read.” The topic? Emotionally unavailable mothers.

As I read it—for professional enrichment, or so I believed—the words activated an unexpected, and confusing, emotional response. “You’re burnt out,” my partner, Lolly, offered. “You need to take a step back. Try to relax.” I brushed her off. I didn’t believe that I was in any way unique in my general feelings and experiences.

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I heard similar complaints from so many of my clients and friends. Who doesn’t get out of bed in the morning dreading the day ahead? Who doesn’t feel distracted at work? Who doesn’t feel distanced from the people they love? Who in the world can honestly say that they aren’t living each day for their vacation?

Isn’t this just what happens when you get older? I had recently “celebrated” my thirtieth birthday and thought to myself, Is this it? Even though I’d already checked off so many of the boxes that I’d dreamed of since I was a child—living in a city of my choosing, running my own private therapy practice, finding a loving partner.

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I still felt like there was something essential in my being that was lost or missing or had never been there in the first place. After years of being in relationships yet feeling emotionally alone, I had finally met a person who felt right because she was so different from me. Whereas I was hesitant and often disengaged, Lolly was passionate and headstrong.

She often challenged me in ways that I felt were exciting. I should have been happy, or, at the very least, content. Instead I felt outside myself, detached, emotionless. I felt nothing. On top of it all, I was experiencing physical issues that had become so acute that I could no longer ignore them.

There was the brain fog, which would cloud me so thoroughly that I sometimes not only forgot words or phrases but entered a complete state of blankness. This was particularly upsetting, especially during the few times when it happened in session with clients. Persistent gut issues, which had plagued me for years, now made me feel heavy and constantly weighed down. How to Do the Work PDF

Then one day I fainted out of the blue—full-on passed out at a friend’s house, which terrified everyone. Sitting in the rocking chair with my bowl of oatmeal in such a serene setting, I suddenly felt how hollowed out my life had become. I was energetically drained, in the clutches of existential despair, frustrated by my clients’ inability to make progress.

Angered at my own limitations in the pursuit of their care and my own, and deeply constricted by a free-floating sluggishness and dissatisfaction that made me question the point of everything. Back at home in the hustle and bustle of city life, I could mask these troubling feelings by channeling all of these energies into action: cleaning the kitchen, walking the dog, making endless plans.

Moving, moving, moving. If you didn’t look too closely you might admire my type A efficiency. But dig in just a little bit, and you’d realize that I was moving my body to distract myself from some deeply rooted unresolved feelings. In the middle of the woods, without a thing to do but read about the lasting effects of childhood trauma, I could no longer escape myself. How to Do the Work PDF

The book exposed so many of the feelings about my mother and my family that I had long repressed. It was like looking into a mirror. There I was, naked, no distractions, and very uncomfortable with what I saw. So many of us exist in a state of unconsciousness. We navigate through the world running on blind autopilot, carrying out automatic.

Habitual behaviors that don’t serve us or reflect who we fundamentally are and what we deeply desire. The practice of Holistic Psychology helps us reconnect to our inner guidance system, which conditioned patterns learned in early childhood have taught us to disconnect from. Holistic Psychology helps us find that intuitive voice.

To trust it, and to let go of the “personality” that has been modeled and shaped by parent-figures, friends, teachers, and society at large, allowing us to bring consciousness to our unconscious selves. In these pages you will find a new paradigm for an integrative approach to healing that incorporates the mind, body, and soul. How to Do the Work PDF

Please note that I am not advocating for a tearing down of the old model; I’m not suggesting that the tools of conventional psychotherapy and other therapeutic models don’t have value. Instead, I’m proposing an approach that embraces aspects of various modalities—from psychology and neuroscience to mindfulness and spirituality practices—in an effort to cultivate what.

I believe are the most effective and integrative techniques for healing and wellness. I have incorporated lessons and insights from traditional models like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychoanalysis, while also bringing in holistic aspects that are (as of this writing) not entirely embraced by mainstream psychology.

It’s important to understand that the practice of Holistic Psychology is rooted in freedom, choice, and ultimately empowerment. Some things will resonate, others won’t; the objective is to use the tools that work best for you. Just the act of choosing will help you connect more deeply to your intuition and your authentic Self. How to Do the Work PDF Download

Learning to heal yourself—SelfHealing—is an act of selfempowerment. SelfHealing is not only possible, it is our reality as human beings, because no one outside of us can truly know what is best for each of us in our uniqueness. Problematically, for far too many of us, quality health care, especially mental health care, is out of reach.

We live in a world where there are gross inequities in access according to where we live, what we look like, and who we are. Even those of us who are privileged enough to afford the type of care we need often encounter the eye-opening truth that not all care is created equal. And if we are lucky enough to find a truly helpful provider, we are confined by the limited amount of face-to-face time we get with that person.

This book offers a self-directed learning model that contains the information and prompts that will enable you to do the work of healing yourself each and every day. Truly comprehending your past, listening to it, witnessing it, learning from it, is a process that enables deep change. Change that lasts. It enables true transformation. How to Do the Work PDF Download

How to Do the Work is presented in three parts. The first part provides the foundation as we become aware of our conscious Self, the power of our thoughts, and the influence of stress and childhood trauma on all the systems of our bodies. It allows us to understand how physical dysregulation in our bodily systems keeps us from moving forward mentally and emotionally.

In the second part, we will peel back a layer and enter “the mind.” We will explore the workings of the conscious and subconscious, learning how powerful conditioning from our parent-figures shaped our worlds, creating thought and behavior patterns that persist today. We will then dive a bit deeper into our mind and meet our inner child.

We will learn about the ego stories that protect us and keep us repeating relationship patterns we began experiencing in childhood. In the final part, which I consider to be the essence of the work, we will learn how to apply the knowledge we’ve gained to achieve the emotional maturity that allows you to connect more authentically with others. How to Do the Work PDF Download

No person is an island. We are social creatures, and it is not until we are able to truly embody our authentic Self that we become able to connect deeply with the people we love. This creates the foundation from which to cultivate a sense of oneness with the collective “we,” or something greater than ourselves. Along the way, I’ve included prompts and tools intended to meet you wherever you are on your journey.

As she began to plan her wedding, her father became a more frequent topic. His obvious absence made it impossible for her to continue denying his place in her life. Still, she rarely showed any emotion in relation to his loss. She remained composed, almost numb, when discussing him.

As the wedding neared, we began to talk about him more and more, and at the same time we worked on cultivating her awareness of the many ways that her past grief was filtering her view of the present. She was able to witness how she was doubling down on surface stressors as a way to distract herself from the unacknowledged pain of her father’s death. How to Do the Work PDF Free

Together we explored the importance of cultivating the power of her conscious awareness to break those automatic reactions. We worked on grounding her attention back in to the present moment before diving into a knee-jerk overreaction about the wedding cake or seating arrangements. We explored how she could best use practices of breathwork and meditation.

What was most impactful for Jessica was physical movement, especially yoga. For many people, physical movement is useful in honing the attention muscle that is so key to consciousness. Yoga, which is considered a “topdown” practice (meaning that the brain sets the intentions that the body follows).

Can be an especially powerful means of helping the mind settle into the present moment by focusing our attention as we practice channeling our breath and challenging our body. The attentional control she developed through her yoga practice helped her to begin to take a second before reacting. This helped her create a space for her to begin to consciously witness more fully what was going on for her. How to Do the Work PDF Free

It was from this foundation of consciousness that she would create future change. Doing inner child work will not rid you of your inner child. Nor will it fully heal the wounds of the past. By the time Anthony came to the community, he had done some research into the inner child healing work of John Bradshaw and found some of my discussions about the inner child helpful.

He had begun piecing together the ways his inner child had filtered the core beliefs he held about himself. As a result, he started to unravel the shamebased narratives that surrounded his sexual behaviors and more recent drinking. He disentangled his beliefs about his supposed participation in his childhood sexual abuse, which for so long he accepted as a fact, seeing them only from his child brain.

Once he applied the logic of the wise inner parent-figure, he saw from an adult perspective the reality of that experience: he had been groomed by a child predator. When Anthony began to accept that his inner child (including all of the different painful experiences he lived) was inside and incredibly hurt, he was able to understand how the hurt was pushing him to act out narratives that no longer served him. How to Do the Work PDF Free

At the same time, he identified his overachiever inner child archetype and realized how much he paired achievement with love. Eventually, he quit his high-powered job in business. He recognized how his obsession with success helped him dissociate from his emotional world—how it allowed him to disconnect, just as he did in childhood.

The story doesn’t end there. Things are never that simple, are they? Anthony didn’t just wrap a bow around his inner child and put it away. There is a temptation to close the book on this work and tell yourself, “I’ve met my inner child. Now I’m all better. Time to move on.” In truth, the work is never done.

The true shift for Anthony happened when he settled into accepting that his inner child will always be there cultivating an ongoing dialogue between his present self and his inner child. Speaking more openly about his sexual compulsions and substance use, he came to identify the vicious cycle of shame and coping behaviors (numbing himself with substances or acting out sexually).

His inner child had been repeating for years. When he was very young, Anthony remembered, one day he came home and shared an instance of schoolyard bullying with his dad who had asked why he appeared upset. Not only had his father suggested that he “was making a big deal out of nothing,” he seemed to wince when Anthony described how he had reacted earlier that day by crying in front of his peers. How to Do the Work PDF Free

It was through this interaction that Anthony realized that his father was ashamed of him and his emotions. It was a gut punch—his first painful experience with shame.