I Was Born for This PDF Book by Alice Oseman


Click here to Download I Was Born for This PDF Book by Alice Oseman Language English having PDF Size 2 MB and No of Pages 357.

I turn to her, confused, but then realise that she’s using my internet name, instead of my real name, which is Fereshteh. I’ve been going by Angel online since I was thirteen. I thought it sounded cool at the time and, no, I didn’t name myself after a Buffy the Vampire Slayer character. Fereshteh means ‘angel’ in Farsi. I love my real name, but Angel feels like a part of me now.

I Was Born for This PDF Book by Alice Oseman

Name of Book I Was Born for This
PDF Size 2 MB
No of Pages 357
Language English
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I’m just not used to hearing it in real life. I hold out my arms and grin and say, ‘Mate, I am living.’ Despite our first-meeting nerves, it turns out that real life really isn’t that different to the internet. Juliet’s still the cool, calm and collected one and I’m still the loudest and most annoying person in the world and we spend the whole walk to the tube station talking about how excited we are to meet The Ark.

‘My mum freaked out,’ I tell her as we’re sitting in a tube carriage. ‘She knows that I love The Ark, but she just said no when I told her I was coming.’ ‘What? Why?’ ‘Well … I’m kind of missing my school leaver graduation thing for this.’ It’s more complicated than that, but I don’t really want to bore Juliet with the details.

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I got my A level results last week, and just scraped the already quite low grades I needed to get into my first university choice. Mum and Dad congratulated me, obviously, but I know they’re pretty annoyed that I didn’t do better, like my older brother, Rostam, who got at least an A on every exam he’s ever taken.

And then Mum had the absolute cheek to demand I don’t go to The Ark concert, just so I can go to a pointless school leavers’ ceremony, shake hands with my headteacher and awkwardly say goodbye to the classmates I’m probably never going to see again. ‘It’s on Thursday morning,’ I continue. ‘The same day as the concert. My mum and dad were gonna come.’

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I shrug. ‘It’s stupid. Like, we’re not American; we don’t have school graduation. Our school just does this stupid little leavers’ ceremony that’s completely pointless.’ Juliet frowns. ‘That sounds like the worst.’ The anxiety thing isn’t new. By this point, it’s pretty much the fourth member of the band.

I’ve been trying to get on top of it in therapy, but I haven’t had the time for many sessions this year what with the European tour and the new album, and I still haven’t really warmed up to my new therapist. I haven’t even told her about the massive panic attack I had at Children in Need last year yet. Still sang anyway. It’s on YouTube. If you look closely, you can see the tear tracks on my face.

We fall into silence. I can hear the screams in the distance. Sounds a bit like a tide. We must be nearly there. My weird bad feelings are probably half anxiety and half genuine nerves about tonight, plus all the other things I’m sort of constantly dreading. I tend to constantly dread things, even when the ‘things’ aren’t actually dreadful. I Was Born for This PDF Book

Currently up there on Jimmy’s List of Things He’s Dreading the Most are signing our new contract and coming home from tour, along with tonight’s performance at the West Coast Music Awards, aka our first ever live performance in America. It’ll be no different to our normal concert performances except that our audience will be the greatest musicians in the world.

And people who haven’t really heard of us rather than teenagers who know all our lyrics off by heart. This is where most of the girls are. A long line of red carpet stretches out before us with the girls on either side, leaning over the fence, waving phones. I used to wish there was time to talk to every single one of them.

Lister dives straight in, walking along the left side of the carpet, stopping every so often to lean in to a girl’s selfie. They grab at his arms, his jacket, his hands. He smiles and moves on. A bodyguard hovers a few steps behind him. Rowan hates the girls, hates the way they scream and grab him and cry in front of him and beg for a follow-back on Twitter. I Was Born for This PDF Book

But he doesn’t want them to hate him. So he goes to take some selfies too. I don’t any more. I don’t go anywhere near them any more. I don’t mind waving and smiling, and I’m grateful, definitely grateful that they’re here and supporting us and loving us, but … they scare me. They could just reach out and hurt me at any moment.

Someone could have a gun. No one would know. One evil person shows up and I’m dead. And I’m a big target. Being a member of one of the most successful and well-known boy bands in Europe makes you a big target. Typical me. Paranoia, dread and too much overthinking all crammed into one tiny brain.

And people sneer. Sure. I get it. Adults especially. They see all these teenage girls and they think it’s because we’re stupid. They only see the tiny percentage of fans who take it too far – the stalkers – and they think we’re all like that. They think we only love the band because of their looks; they think we only like their music because it’s relatable. I Was Born for This PDF Book Download

They think all of us are girls. They think all of us are straight. They think we’re dumb little girls who spend all our time screaming because we want to marry a musician. They don’t understand half of it. Any of it. How could they? Adults don’t think teenagers can do anything, anyway. But despite everything in the world being terrible, we choose to stand by The Ark.

We choose hope, light, joy, friendship, faith, even when our lives aren’t perfect, or exciting, or fun, or special, like the boys from The Ark. I might be a disappointing student, without many close friends, with a life of mediocrity waiting for me back at home – an average degree from an average university, an average job and an average life – but I will always have this.

In an otherwise mediocre existence, we choose to feel passion. We are three people from the front of the queue and a large group of girls near the back of the line seem to be causing a fair amount of unrest. I keep hearing shouts of, ‘Can you stop pushing?’ and the space between each person seems to be getting smaller and smaller. I Was Born for This PDF Book Download

We’re all fairly packed in now, actually. People are starting to get agitated. Despite how the media paints us, fandoms are actually very supportive and respectful places. Fans will stick up for each other and look after each other in a way that normal strangers don’t. I think it’s because despite who we are, where we came from, and whatever we’ve been through, we all have a very big part of us in common.

Of course there are always a small number of fans who are not good people. There are always those who lack any empathy whatsoever. ‘Why is everyone pushing?’ Juliet mumbles. The first thing she’s said in about half an hour. The next person walks towards the curtains. Two more to go. Mac looks like he wants to die. He hasn’t said anything either.

I’ve been distracting myself by talking to the other fans around us, talking to people who actually care about being here. ‘I might get out of here,’ he says suddenly. Juliet says nothing. ‘Someone else deserved your ticket,’ I tell him. He looks at me like I’m from another planet. And then there is a sound. A loud crack. I Was Born for This PDF Book Free

And a terrified voice rips through the air. ‘What the fuck, what the fuck—’ And Rowan stumbles out from behind the curtain with blood cascading down one side of his face. Not a butter knife or even a kitchen knife. It’s a knife designed for cutting people. A dagger, to be honest. It’s even got an ornate handle.

I stand up faster than I thought I could and stagger backwards so that I’m as far away from Jimmy Kaga-Ricci and his dagger as I can possibly be. As soon as I do this, I realise my mistake. I can’t get to the door now. He’s right in front of it. Wait. What? Jimmy Kaga-Ricci isn’t going to stab me. Is he? He’s Jimmy. He’s sunshine.

He’s the dreamlike centre of The Ark, a little aloof but always shining, always lovely. He’s been through hard times of course, but he’s surrounded by the love of his two best friends, and his fans, and he’s performing his music, his passion, to the world. That’s Jimmy Kaga-Ricci. Isn’t it? Not this. Whoever this is. I Was Born for This PDF Book Free

Shaking and crying on the floor in front of me, waving a dagger around like he thinks I’m going to attack him, or something. This can’t be him. It can’t. He can’t. This is wrong. This isn’t what I know. This is all wrong. I don’t understand. This isn’t how we were supposed to meet. ‘What are you doing?’ I say. God, my voice is shaking.

I’m scared. Why am I scared of Jimmy? My Jimmy? I love Jimmy. I’ve loved Jimmy for years. This is the point where I thought I’d be jumping up and down, shaking Juliet by the shoulder, both of us grinning with excitement. But there’s no one next to me and I don’t feel anything. My phone is on twelve per cent battery so I shouldn’t use it to check Twitter any more. I don’t have a charger with me.

I turn my phone off and zip it into my bag. It’s dark in here. There are a few spotlights zooming around, and occasionally they flash over me, but then they’re gone, and I’m plunged into darkness again. I try not to look at anyone around me. The last thing I want is anyone talking to me. They’re all chatting and laughing. They’ve been waiting for this day for a long time. Just like I have. I Was Born for This PDF Book Free

I stand for the next hour and a half until the support act arrives, trying to absorb the excitement of the people around me, but the more I hear it, the faker it sounds. I try not to think about anything but I end up thinking about everything. Juliet, angry on the phone. I’m going to have to leave tomorrow and go home. Jimmy, broken and crying on the floor, Rowan covered in blood.

The fans tearing at them, reaching out for them, rising from the flood. I’m sure that when The Ark arrive, I’ll feel happy. I know that when The Ark arrive, I will feel happy. We run through our numbers a couple of times while the sound team adjust microphones and instruments and sound boards and other things I don’t know the name of.

We’re performing ‘Joan of Arc’, obviously, and also a cover of ‘All The Things She Said’ by t.A.T.u, which is one of our favourite songs, but in the first sound check I forget the second-verse lyrics, and in the second sound check I get the ‘Joan of Arc’ chord sequence all muddled up. When we’re done, Rowan mouths ‘You okay?’ at me. I never normally get music stuff wrong. I Was Born for This PDF Book Free

We’re not recording until eleven so there’s time for a short break after the sound checks, when we’re introduced to the host. When we get to our dressing room Lister immediately starts rummaging through the drinks they provided, but when he discovers there’s no alcohol, he just sits down in a chair and doesn’t move.

Rowan and I don’t say anything, but from the look on Rowan’s face, I think he might know what I know. About Lister probably being an alcoholic. Got in a taxi, went to the train station, and disappeared.’ Everyone would freak the fuck out. They’d probably get the police looking for us. And people would find us, anyway. People on the street, cashiers, taxi drivers, train guards. Everyone knows who we are.

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