Reminders of Him PDF Book by Colleen Hoover


Click here to Download Reminders of Him PDF Book by Colleen Hoover Language English having PDF Size 1.7 MB and No of Pages 384.

I look away from him and lie. “Yes. I’m the one who put it there.” I can still feel him staring at me as he pulls back onto the road. My new apartment is only two miles from here, but it’s in the opposite direction from where I used to live. I don’t have a car, so I decided to find a place closer to downtown this time so I can walk to work. If I can even find a job. It’ll be difficult with my history and lack of experience.

Reminders of Him PDF Book by Colleen Hoover

Name of Book Reminders of Him
PDF Size 1.7 MB
No of Pages 384
Language English
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And, according to the cabdriver, the bad karma I’m probably carrying around right now. Stealing Scotty’s memorial might be bad karma, but one could argue that leaving a memorial up for a guy who verbally expressed his hatred for roadside memorials could be bad karma as well. That’s why I had the driver take the detour down this back road.

I knew Grace probably left something at the location of the wreck, and I felt I owed it to Scotty to remove it. “Cash or card?” the driver asks. I look at the meter and pull cash and a tip out of my purse and hand it to him after he parks. Then I grab my suitcase and the wooden cross I just stole and make my way out of the cab and up to the building.

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My new apartment isn’t part of a huge complex. It’s just a single-standing unit flanked by an abandoned car lot on one side and a convenience store on the other. Plywood covers a downstairs window. Beer cans in various stages of decay litter the property. I kick one aside so that it doesn’t get stuck in the wheels of my suitcase.

The place looks even worse than it did online, but I expected as much. The landlord didn’t even ask for my name when I called to see if they had any vacancies. She said, “We always have vacancies. Bring cash; I’m in apartment one.” Then she hung up. I knock on apartment one. There’s a cat in the window staring at me. It’s so motionless I start to wonder if it’s a statue, but then it blinks and slinks away.

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I don’t know what I’m good at. I don’t know that there is anything in this world I could make look effortless. There are things I want to be good at. I want to be a good mother. To my future kids, but mostly to the daughter I already brought into this world. I want to have a yard that I can plant stuff in. Stuff that will flourish and not die. I want to learn how to talk to people without wishing I could retract every word I said.

I want to be good at feeling things when a guy touches my waist. I want to be good at life. I want to make it look effortless, but up until this point, I’ve made every aspect of life appear entirely too difficult to navigate. The bartender glides back to me when the coffee is ready. As he’s filling the mug, I look at him and actually absorb what I’m seeing this time.

He’s good looking in a way that a girl who is trying to get custody of her daughter should want to stay away from. He’s got eyes that have seen a thing or two, and hands that have probably hit a man or two. His hair is fluid like his movements. Long, dark strands that hang in his eyes and move in whatever direction he moves. He doesn’t touch his hair; he hasn’t since I’ve been sitting here. Reminders of Him PDF Book

He just lets it get in his way, but then he’ll flick his head every now and then, the slightest little movement, and his hair goes where he needs it to. It’s thick hair, agreeable hair, want-my-hands-in-his-hair hair. My mug is full of coffee now, but he lifts a finger and says, “One sec.” He swivels and opens a minifridge and then pulls out whole milk.

He pours some into the mug. He puts the milk back, opens another fridge—surprise, whipped cream. He reaches behind him, and when his hand reappears, he’s holding a single cherry that he places carefully on top of my drink. He slides it closer to me and spreads out his arms like he just created magic. “No caramel,” he says. “

I’ve never seen a picture of Diem. I don’t know if she looks like me or Scotty. Are her eyes blue or brown? Is her smile honest like her father’s? Does she laugh like me? Is she happy? That’s my only hope for her. I want her to be happy. I have complete faith in Grace and Patrick. I know they loved Scotty, and it’s obvious they love Diem. Reminders of Him PDF Book

They loved her before she was even born. They started fighting for custody the day they were told I was pregnant. The baby didn’t even have fully developed lungs, but they were already fighting for its first breath. I lost the custody battle before Diem was even born. There aren’t many rights a mother has when she’s sentenced to several years in prison.

The judge said, because of the nature of our situation and the duress I’d caused to Scotty’s family, he could not, in good conscience, honor my request for visitation rights. Nor would he force Scotty’s parents to maintain the relationship between my daughter and me while I was in prison.

I was told I could petition the court for rights upon my release, but since my rights were terminated, there’s probably very little I can do. Between Diem’s birth and my release almost five years later, there has been little anyone could, or would, do for me. All I have is this intangible hope I try to cling to with childlike hands. Reminders of Him PDF Book

I’ve received three calls from Patrick on my drive back to the house, but I haven’t answered any of them because I’m too angry at Kenna to have a conversation about her over the phone. I was hoping the Landrys didn’t hear her beating on their door, but it’s obvious they did. Patrick is waiting in my yard when I pull back into my driveway. He’s talking before I even get out of the truck. “What does she want?”

he asks. “Grace is a mess. Do you think she’s going to try to fight the termination? The lawyer said it would be impossible.” He’s still spitting questions at me as he follows me into the kitchen. I toss my keys on the table. “I don’t know, Patrick.” “Should we get a restraining order?” “I don’t think you have grounds to do that. She hasn’t threatened anyone.”

He paces the kitchen, and I watch as he seems to grow smaller and smaller. I pour him a glass of water and hand it to him. He downs the whole thing and then takes a seat on one of the barstools. He drops his head into his hands. “The last thing Diem needs is for that woman to be in and out of her life. After what she did to Scotty . . . we can’t . . .” “She won’t show up here again,” I say. Reminders of Him PDF Book Download

“She’s too afraid of having the cops called on her.” My comment only heightens his worry. “Why? Is she trying to keep her record clean in case she can take us to court? Diem does look like me. We have the same hair, the same eyes. She even has the same slender fingers I have. I was glad to see she got Scotty’s laugh and smile. Watching the videos of her was like a refresher course in the history of Scotty.

It’s been so long, and I had no pictures of him in prison, so I was beginning to forget what he looked like. But I saw him in her, and I’m thankful for that. I’m grateful to know that when Patrick and Grace look at Diem, they can still see some semblance of their own son. I always worried that if she looked too much like me, they might not see remnants of him. I thought I’d feel different after finally seeing her.

I was hoping there would be a sense of closure within me, but it’s almost as if someone has stretched open the wound. I thought seeing her happy would make me happier, but in a way, it’s made me even sadder, in a completely selfish way. It’s not that difficult to love a child you gave birth to, even if you’ve never laid eyes on them. But it’s extremely difficult to finally see what they look like and sound like and are like, and then be expected to just walk away from that. But that’s exactly what they all expect me to do. It’s what they want me to do. Reminders of Him PDF Book Download

The thought of it makes my stomach feel like it’s full of tight, knotted ropes, and they’re all about to snap. Ledger was right, I needed food. But now that I’m sitting here with food, all I can do is think about the last couple of hours, and I don’t know if I can eat. I’m nauseous, full of adrenaline, emotional, exhausted.

He gives my answer time to sink in, and then he nods gently. “That’s good to know.” “Is it?” I flatten my back against the wall. “Because it doesn’t feel like it even matters. You still don’t want me to meet my daughter. You’re still hoping I leave town.” None of it matters. Ledger dips his head until our eyes meet again.

He’s looking at me pointedly when he says, “There is nothing in this world that would make me happier than you getting to meet Diem. If I knew how to change their minds, I would do it in a heartbeat, Kenna.” My breath shakes upon release. His confession is everything I needed to hear. Reminders of Him PDF Book Free

I close my eyes because I don’t want to cry and I don’t want to watch him leave, but until this moment, I wasn’t sure if he even wanted me in Diem’s life. I feel the heat of his arm next to my head, and I keep my eyes closed, but I’m sucking in small gasps of air. I can hear his breaths, and then I can feel them on my cheek, and then my neck, as if he’s moving in on me.

I feel surrounded by him in this moment, and I’m scared if I open my eyes, I’ll realize it’s all in my head and that he actually walked out of my open apartment door. But then he exhales, and the warmth rolls down my neck and shoulder. I barely crack open my eyes to find him towering over me, his hands on either side of the wall beside my head.

He’s just hovering, like he can’t decide whether he should leave or reenact our kiss from the night we met. Or maybe he’s just waiting on me to make some kind of move, or decision, or mistake. I don’t know what compels me to lift my hand and place it on his chest, but when I do, he sighs as if that’s exactly what he wanted me to do. But I don’t know if I’m touching his chest because I want to push him away, or because I want to pull him closer. Reminders of Him PDF Book Free

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