Resisting Happiness PDF Book by Matthew Kelly


Click here to Download Resisting Happiness PDF Book by Matthew Kelly having PDF Size 1.6 MB and No of Pages 203.

Sitting down for a few minutes of prayer and reflection at the beginning of the day makes me happy. It gives me the clarity, focus, perspective, and gratitude I need to make the most of the day. But almost every day I am tempted to put it off until later or skip it altogether. Why? The allure of action, the temptation to believe that going somewhere or doing something is urgent.

Resisting Happiness PDF Book by Matthew Kelly

Name of Book Resisting Happiness
PDF Size 1.6 MB
No of Pages 203
Language English
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About Book – Resisting Happiness PDF Book

This is one of my first struggles with resistance each day, and resistance knows that this is the most significant battle of the day. If resistance can keep me from praying, it will win many more battles throughout the day. There are a dozen other examples, but starting my day with prayer, taking a walk, and jumping straight into my work recipe for me to exponentially increase my chances of having a fabulous day.

This is the dilemma that every parent, teacher, pastor, coach, and leader faces. We see what is possible for our children, students, parishioners, players, and those we lead, but we cannot always help them to see those possibilities for themselves. My consulting company has a large coaching practice. We have life coaches to help people develop a strategic plan for their lives.

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We have business coaches to help entrepreneurs grow their businesses. And we have executive coaches to help corporate leaders gain perspective on the biggest challenges facing their businesses and organizations. It’s amazing how life changing this type of coaching can be. Do some get more out of it than others? Yes. Why? Some people are more committed and engaged in the process.

Whenever I speak to the coaches, I warn them about one scenario. “You are going to be tempted to judge yourself as a coach by how well your participants perform. That’s a mistake and it leads to a bad place. Your participants’ successes and failures are their own. You cannot take credit for their successes, and you cannot take the blame for their failures.

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Your job is to coach them well by faithfully following the coaching program. Otherwise you will end up crossing a line that a coach should never cross. You will find yourself in a place where you want it for them more than they want it for themselves. Then you will make your first mistake. You will do something for them that they should be doing for themselves.

You will think you are helping them, but it is a lie and you know it. Your job is to empower those you coach; when you do for them what they should be doing for themselves, you create entitlement and dependency rather than empowerment. It is incredibly frustrating when you see amazing possibilities for the people you are coaching, and you want it more for them than they want it for themselves.

Don’t give in to that frustration!” But beyond these daily experiences with restlessness, there have been a handful of extraordinary encounters with it that have left their mark on my life. When I was fifteen years old I had a growing sense that something was missing. I was doing well in school, I excelled at sports, I had a wonderful girlfriend, and I had started a couple of businesses. Resisting Happiness PDF Book

I grew up in a very entrepreneurial family. Sitting at the dinner table each night was basically like attending classes for an MBA. So by the time I was a sophomore in high school I was making more money than my teachers, and I remember thinking, “There must be more to life than getting good grades, having a job, and making money.” My heart was restless.

I knew something was missing, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I had this nagging sense that there simply must be more to life, but I didn’t know what it was or where to find it. So, I did what most of us do. I tried to ignore the feelings, but the nagging restlessness persisted. Sometimes people will say, “I’ve heard you speak three times and every time you mention that ten minutes a day idea!”

I always ask them, “How many days last week did you spend ten minutes in quiet conversation with God?” That gets them thinking. Then they answer, usually vaguely and with some sort of excuse attached. So, I’m going to keep talking about it until we are all doing it, every day! There are two reasons this theme keeps emerging in my work. First, because this habit of prayer changed my life. Resisting Happiness PDF Book

Second, because I know from personal experience how hard it is to keep the habit going. This is my biggest battle with resistance each day. Resistance will fight me every time; it will never just let me sit down and begin my prayer. It will try to distract me and discourage me. It will do anything and everything to prevent me from doing my prayer.

A few years ago, I was doing some consulting work at a large hospital. The hospital was implementing the Dream Manager program for the nurses. The program helps people identify why they do what they do, what is important to them, and what their dreams are for the future. It has been incredibly successful in hundreds of companies, because sadly, most people have never been asked, “What are your dreams?”

And most people spend more time planning their annual vacation than they spend planning their lives. During the project I spent quite a bit of time with a group of hospice nurses. I remember wondering over and over again to myself, “How do they do it?” One day at lunch, I was sitting with five or six of them, and I asked them, “When people are dying, what do they talk about?” Resisting Happiness PDF Book

They told me that people who are dying very often talk to the nurses about how they wish they had lived their lives differently. Here is a sampling of what those nurses shared with me, twenty-four things dying people wished they had done differently If we wish to have a radically different experience at Mass on Sunday.

The answer is not better music, better homilies, or a more welcoming community—though I am all in favor of these and agree we need to improve them. The key to transforming our Sunday Mass experience and improving our relationship with God is shifting from a passive to an active disposition and really listening. Do you merely attend Mass or do you participate in Mass?

The difference between the passive and the active approach is night and day. Now for the game changer. This small habit alone will help you make a huge shift from passive to active. One thing I have noticed about continuous learners is they tend to have pen and paper with them at all times, because they never know when they are going to hear something great or have an idea. Resisting Happiness PDF Book Download

For many years I have slept with a pen and paper beside my bed, as I often wake in the middle of the night with an idea and I am afraid I will forget it. This allows me to write the idea down and go back to sleep. Resistance loves the negative patterns in your life, the bad habits. The path of least resistance effortlessly creates negative routines, rituals, and rhythms.

Do you know what the negative patterns are in your life? Do you procrastinate by watching television? Do you try to spend your way to happiness? Do you eat when you are not hungry to deal with emotions? Do you drink to escape? Do you constantly check your e-mail or social media to avoid doing the most important things?

Do you keep spending time with people even though you know they are not helping you become the-best-version-of-yourself? We also have negative habits of the mind. Do you worry about things that you have no control over? Do you obsess about the worst possible outcome in situations? Are you constantly judging yourself and others? Resisting Happiness PDF Book Download

Do you keep returning to feelings of guilt even after God has forgiven you? Do you dwell on things in the past you wish you had done differently? Do you blame yourself even when something is not your fault? Do you doubt yourself constantly? It takes an incredible spiritual awareness to work out over time what we are really hungry for.

We may think that our hunger is for one thing, but once we have had our fill of that thing, we discover that the hunger is still there and deeper than ever. Hunger is one of the central themes in A Moveable Feast, Ernest Hemingway’s memoir of his time in Paris as a young man. He speaks about the role hunger plays in the creative process.

In modern times those who become incredibly successful also often become soft and comfortable, and are accused of having lost their hunger—the hunger to win, the hunger for excellence, the hunger to be the best, or the hunger to be great. The point is I love food. Even a visit to the supermarket is an interesting study. To begin, let me confess that I very, very rarely go to the supermarket. Resisting Happiness PDF Book Download

But about once a year, my wife will ask me to go and grab something that was forgotten or that we ran out of. I always return with delicacies from every department in the store. It’s probably one of the reasons I am rarely sent to the grocery store. And of course, with all these little kids running around at the Kelly house, I have had my fair share of children’s shows over the past six years.

Too often I find myself agreeing with Winnie the Pooh: “What could be more important than a little something to eat?” Am I hungry for food? Absolutely not. So, what am I hungry for? There are a thousand theories. Some would say I am hungry to release stress and tension, and others would say I am hungry for a more balanced life.

Some would just say I have a problem with self-control, and while I know that is part of it, I also know it is much more complex than that. Something is triggering this behavior. I have seven brothers: Mark, Simon, Andrew, Brett, Nathan, Bernard, and Hamish. Growing up in Australia, all we did was play sports. What sports? Any sport. Resisting Happiness PDF Book Free

Football, cricket, tennis, soccer, swimming, running, basketball, volleyball, golf, table tennis, biking—you name it, we probably gave it a try. Were we competitive? Yes we were. Ultracompetitive. I still remember getting thrown in the pool during a cricket match in the backyard when my brothers didn’t like the call. We played sports all the time.

My father loved sports and one of his favorite things to do was watch his sons play. I believe it gave him a tremendous sense of pride and filled him with great joy to watch his boys out there competing. I began playing competitive sports when I was five years old. Every time I went to training and every time I went to a game, my dad said the very same thing to me: “Matthew, listen to your coach!” Every time.

He never forgot. If he was traveling, he would call me on the phone sometimes before a game to wish me well, and to remind me to listen to my coach. For more than twenty years I have been going to confession regularly. There is always a temptation to put it off. Resistance puts a barrier between me and going to confession, and as always I have to break through that barrier, slay resistance, and go. Resisting Happiness PDF Book Free

The interesting thing is, whenever I go I am always glad I went. Just like when it is time to work out we often don’t feel like it, but we force ourselves to do it and we are always glad we did. You don’t meet people who have been retired for a year who say, “I hate myself because I saved far too much money for retirement.” When we save money we are always glad we did. We almost never regret delaying gratification.

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