Click here to Download Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book by Thomas Erikson Language English having PDF Size 3.1 MB and No of Pages 284.
Does that sound strange? Let me explain. Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he understands. For many different reasons, he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended.
Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book by Thomas Erikson
|Name of Book||Surrounded by Idiots|
|PDF Size||3.1 MB|
|No of Pages||284|
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What is actually understood will, naturally, vary depending on who you are speaking to, but it is very rare that the entire message gets through exactly as you conceived it in your mind. It may feel depressing knowing that you have so little control over what your listener understands. No matter how much sense you would like to knock into the other person’s head, there’s not that much you can do about it.
This is one of the many challenges of communication. You simply can’t change how the listener functions. However, most people are aware of and sensitive to how they want to be treated. By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication.
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Where does our behavior come from? Why are people so different? Search me! Very briefly, it’s a combination of heredity and environment. Even before we’re born, the foundations for the behavior patterns we will exhibit in adulthood have been laid. The temperament and character traits we have inherited affect our behavior, a process already begun at the genetic stage.
Exactly how this works is still a bone of contention among scientists, but all are in agreement that it does come into play. Not only do we inherit traits from our own parents but also from their parents—also in varying degrees from other relatives. At some point or other, we have all heard that we speak like or look like an uncle or an aunt. As a child, I resembled my uncle Bertil—something to do with my red hair.
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To explain how this is genetically possible would take a tremendous amount of time. For the moment, let us just establish that this inheritance lays the foundation for our behavioral development. What happens once we are born? In most cases, children are born impulsive, adventurous, without any barriers whatsoever. A child does exactly what he wants.
The child says, “No, I don’t want to!” or, “Sure I can!” He is immersed in the thought that he can manage just about anything at all. This kind of spontaneous and sometimes uncontrolled behavior is, of course, not always what his parents wished for. Then, hey presto, what was once an original pattern of behavior begins to transform, in the best/worst-case scenario, into a copy of someone else.
This is the behavior type that Hippocrates in his theory of human temperament called choleric. Nowadays you might call a Red person bold, ambitious, driven, but also potentially hot-tempered, rash, or dominant. You quickly notice a Red person because he doesn’t make the slightest effort to conceal who he is. A Red person is a dynamic and driven individual. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book
He has goals in life that others may find difficult to even imagine. Since his goals are so highly ambitious, achieving them seems to be impossible. Reds strive forward, always pushing themselves harder, and they almost never give up. Their belief in their own ability is unsurpassed. They carry inside them the firm belief that they can achieve anything—if they just work hard enough.
People who have lots of Red in their behavior are task-oriented extroverts and they enjoy challenges. They make quick decisions and are often comfortable taking the lead and taking risks. A common perception is that Reds are natural leaders. These are people who willingly take command and go to the fore. They are so driven that they will get through despite any obstacle in their path.
Their disposition is ideal in competitive situations. It’s not unusual for a CEO or a president to have lots of Red in his behavior. This form of competition is present in everything Reds do. To say that they constantly want to challenge and compete is probably not entirely true, but if a chance of winning something arises—why not? Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book
The exact nature of the competition is unimportant; it’s the competitive element that keeps Reds running on all cylinders. Pelle, one of my former neighbors, liked competing so much that he developed entirely new interests just to compete. I like working in the garden, and so I spend quite some time doing so.
Pelle didn’t like gardening, but when he had heard people commenting on my beautiful garden often enough he finally had enough. He started one project after another, always with a single but very clear objective: to outdo me. He confounded his wife by digging new flower beds, planting a rainbow of unbelievably fabulous plants, and cultivating the lawn to golf-course standard.
The only thing I needed to do to keep him going was to merely suggest that I would purchase more plants. Then he would go to the local garden center quicker than you could say “bad loser.” So Reds like competing. They appreciate the slight antagonism that is part of being competitive and the glorious moment of winning. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book
They even enjoy winning competitions that probably don’t even exist, except perhaps in their own mind. It can be passing a slow walker on the street, finding the absolutely best parking spot, or dominating the family game of Monopoly—despite the fact that the purpose of the game is to entertain the kids and none of the other adults are actually competing.
For a Red, this is all natural because he sees himself as a winner. Let me give you an example. I once worked for a company where the CEO was Red. He was energetic and efficient—and consequently incredibly dynamic. No meetings were as short and sweet as those run by this CEO. But his weak spot was the competitive element.
As a young man he had played soccer, and every spring at this particular workplace they held a soccer tournament. It was very popular, even before he joined the company. Naturally, he had to take part. No other CEO before him had ever done so, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that as soon as he got out on the field he became a different person. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book
On fire with his competitive drive, he flattened anyone who stood in his way. This continued for a few years until someone had the guts to tell him that he played just a little bit too rough—the game wasn’t supposed to be that serious. The CEO didn’t understand. He grabbed the latest flyer for the game and pointed out that it was called a soccer “tournament.”
Tournaments are competitions, and if you compete you are in it to win. Simple! He competed in traffic, on the soccer field, in business. No area was too insignificant not to become a competition. He even raced to see how quickly he could finish reading a book. What others do for relaxation he transformed into a competition. One hundred pages an hour was a reasonable pace.
His wife had even banned him from playing a memory card game with his children, who were five and six years old. Since they had better memories than he did, they won most of the time, and in his frustration he intimidated them. Before you conclude that this guy sounds rather unsympathetic, we need to look at his intentions. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book Download
This kind of intensive and competitive behavior often upsets other people because they think it is all about dominating and suppressing others. Nothing could be further from the truth. His intentions were almost never malicious. He just wanted to win. This is one of the greatest challenges for Reds.
It’s not uncommon that other people feel irritated or intimidated by them because they’re such powerful personalities. Later on in this book, I will share some simple ways that you can deal with these individuals. As you now know, Reds are very much to the point, and they enjoy being with other people who also have the ability to tell them what they want—quickly.
If you have a tendency to go around in circles before getting to the crux of the matter, you’ll have difficulty getting through to a Red. He’ll get tired if you waste your words without due cause. And he knows when he’s dealing with a chatterbox. It’s very common for people to provide some background to a problem before describing the problem itself. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book Download
And maybe even some more background to the solution of the problem. Forget it. It won’t work. Conclusion: If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cut the small talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine the most essential point of your message and start there. Let’s say that you’re going to present the latest financial statement.
Say what’s written on the last line of the slide first—that’s what a Red is sitting there waiting for anyway. Then you can get into the details. Don’t use a single word unnecessarily. But make sure you’ve done your homework when it comes to the background. Questions may come up. If a Red senses that you’re uncertain, you’ll be grilled on the facts.
Written materials should be concise and, above all, well laid out. No endless dissertations written by someone who loves the sound of his own voice. A single line jotted down on the back of the napkin will do the job. This is a given if we’re referring to a working relationship. Stick to the job. Make sure to stay focused on the task at hand. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book Download
A Blue is not at all interested in your personal preferences or what you think about his choice of car, house, sport, or anything else that is not related to work. He’s there to work. Period. I remember once that after about five or six meetings with a personnel manager in a big company I thought I had gotten to know him. We had passed the stage of shaking hands every time, and by now he knew how I preferred my coffee.
At the seventh visit it occurred to me to ask him what he planned to do over the holidays. I don’t know what came over me. At first his look became vacant and then his anxious eyes began to wander all over the room. I ended up saying some nonsense to cover up my mistake. I hadn’t told him what I had done on my holidays, either.
About four visits later, he informed me gently that he planned to go to Thailand over the new year with his family. That was the opening. Conclusion: Stick to the task. Work with checklists where factual matters are noted— things you can tick off together with the Blue. If you’re Yellow, put a part of your spontaneity aside. For that matter, put away as much spontaneity as you can. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book Free
Force yourself to do one thing at a time. Remind yourself that a Blue will rarely or never ask how things are going or show interest in your personal problems. Don’t ask how things are going for him on a personal level, either. The word itself would be his answer: “Personal. This is private. Stay off.” In time he will open up if he wants to. It’s not that he doesn’t like you; he just wants to work first.
Accept this and it will go well. And the Blues replied, “We have Excel.” If a plan seems crazy, a Blue will never have any confidence in it. There’s no point in playing on his feelings or trying to promote ideas that are way too wild. What you say needs to have realistic perspectives; otherwise, you won’t get anywhere.
Conclusion: Think through what you want to say and what you want to convince a Blue to believe. Put daydreams and visions aside. It may even be worth rethinking the kind of language you will use to talk about your plan. Skip all those inspirational speeches that Yellows and Reds adore. Stick to the facts, and be clear. If you have an idea that hasn’t been tested before, try to set reasonable goals. Surrounded by Idiots PDF Book Free
Don’t say that you will dominate the market within three months or that the Little League team will win the championship despite having lost all of their matches so far. They’ll only consider you a lunatic. If you have Yellow in your own profile, you should really think twice about how you interact with Blues. You’re already fighting an uphill battle as far as a Blue is concerned. And be careful to avoid any overly dramatic body language.