Tell Me Lies PDF Book by Carola Lovering


Click here to Download Tell Me Lies PDF Book by Carola Lovering Language English having PDF Size 3.1 MB and No of Pages 381.

I resist the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes. Melissa never misses an opportunity to remind everyone that she’s the one who landed us Expedia. I honestly have no idea how she pulled that o. We run through the agenda; Alanna comes back with a platter of shiny pastries; the clients are on time, and the meeting begins.

Tell Me Lies PDF Book by Carola Lovering

Name of Book Tell Me Lies
PDF Size 3.1 MB
No of Pages 381
Language English
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About Book – Tell Me Lies PDF Book

The Expedia people like to keep our meetings speedy, which I appreciate, because my head is still throbbing. I’m on my third coee. I don’t touch the food, though I want a chocolate croissant beyond badly. I observe Alanna observing the pastries, and I bet she wants one as much as I do.

Maybe she even snuck a bite at Financier. Melissa digs into an apple fritter without shame—she is oblivious to the harm of carbohydrates in a way that almost makes me envy her, except that I really, really don’t. Melissa is thirty-one and single and odd and spends all her free time alone with her cat or Instagramming seles with her cat—I’d feel bad for her if she wasn’t a raging bitch.

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After the client leaves I type up the meeting notes for Melissa and then remind her that I’m leaving early. She gives me a look like this is brand-new information, even though I told her a month ago and have reminded her every day this week. “For my friend’s wedding in New Jersey? I’m a bridesmaid and the bridal lunch is today. I reminded you yesterday? I have to make the 11:02 out of Penn Station?”

Everything I say ends up sounding like a question. I wish Melissa didn’t make me so nervous. “Right.” Melissa scowls and darts her eyes away weirdly. Alanna spills coee on the sleeve of her shirt and scowls. In sales, scowling is protocol. “Before you take o, I need to see you in my oce.”

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Melissa uses every opportunity imaginable to let the world know she has an office now that she’s director of sales, even though her promotion was more than a year ago and even though her “oce” is essentially a cubicle without a door, three feet from my own desk. “Now?” My stomach plummets instinctually. “That would be ideal.” Melissa sneers, and I can feel Alanna smirking behind me.

I follow her into her “oce.” “Want to tell me what the hell this is?” Melissa swivels her laptop screen toward me, displaying an article on “Is It Worth It? The Risks We Take for Travel’s Sake” by Lucy Albright. “It’s an article I wrote.” “I can see that.” Melissa’s face morphs into something ugly and livid.

I can see the bad foundation job, the way the yellow skin around her mouth looks like it’s cracking. I always feel strange when she confronts me in person. She loves using her authority to get pissed at Alanna and me, but it’s usually from behind the security of her computer screen, where she sends passive-aggressive emails or IMs from fewer than three feet away without a spoken word. Tell Me Lies PDF Book

Melissa has done well enough at The Suitest—Expedia is our biggest client—but she’s too uncomfortable to have an actual, verbal conversation about anything other than meeting agendas. “I didn’t realize you were trying to be some kind of global health journalist.” Her face is practically twitching with rage or discomfort; I can’t tell which.

“I just freelance on the side. The article ran two weeks ago. How did you nd it?” It was a Saturday evening and I was staring at the familiar paisley print on Diana’s quilt—orange and yellow and pink swirls—and focusing on my arousal. I love sex, but I’d fucked Diana so many times that it had become as familiar as jerking o. It was good, but no longer unreal—the word we’d once mutually used to describe it.

I pulled her on top of me, but she wasn’t having it. Yet again she was too pissed at me to focus on having an orgasm. So I sped up to reach my own end, came inside her, and rolled away. I felt the stirrings of another argument. That is what my relationship with Diana had become: argue, sex, argue, sex, argue, argue, sex, argue. Nothing else in between. Tell Me Lies PDF Book

“We have to stop doing this,” she mumbled, propping up on one arm. Her messy hair fell in front of her eyes, and I pushed it behind her ear. “Maybe if you concentrate on something other than being mad at me, you could actually enjoy yourself one of these times.” I climbed o the bed to look for my boxers. “Fuck you, Stephen.” She picked up the box of Kleenex sitting on her bedside table and chucked it at my head.

“Maybe if you stop sticking your dick in everything with a pulse, I wouldn’t be so worried about getting some gross STD and I could enjoy myself.” Diana was crying now. I put on my clothes, grabbed the open can of beer on her desk, and chugged it in a single take. Then I sat down on the edge of the bed and dried her tears with my thumbs.

“Princess Diana, stop it. Nicole was a mistake, I’ve told you. I love you. How many times do you want me to tell you? I want to be with you.” “I’m not ready for that.” “So why are you sleeping with me?” “I don’t know. I ask myself that question every day. Maybe we should cool it for a while.” “Is that really what you want?” “Yeah.” Tell Me Lies PDF Book

The sheets had fallen below Diana’s breasts and I stared at them, small and pale with rose-pink nipples, as familiar to me as my own hands. “Diana, c’mon. I’m going to Wrig’s birthday party. Will you come with me? Hold my hand? Be my girl again?” “Go with you and watch you irt with freshman sluts?” “Oh Jesus, Diana.” I pinched my sinuses.

I didn’t have the energy to stick around for another two-hour ght, so I grabbed my jacket and left. Let her call me selsh and mope around her house all night. She and Keaton and Josie would drink a case of red wine and talk about how much they hated me. Give it a week or two and she’d be calling me again, begging me to come over.

I listened to him shit-talk his relationship with Diana a bit longer. He said that he loved her but that he wasn’t in love with her, that he didn’t think he ever had been. I watched him while he spoke. His face possessed that self-assured smugness that people like Jackie loathed, but that for some reason I’d never been able to. I knew he thought I was gullible and easy—it wasn’t like I didn’t know that. Tell Me Lies PDF Book Download

And I was both of those things, or at least I’d driven myself to be them. I didn’t have to accept what he oered, but I did, because I had known from the moment he opened my bedroom door that night that I was going to let him sleep with me, regardless of the circumstances. There was no way out. I’d imagined this scenario in my head a million times.

There wasn’t anything I wanted more. I didn’t know if I was addicted to the pain or if love was pain that you had to push through in order to access something greater, a nal result you didn’t understand but stored your faith in. There are girls, like Georgia, who never let stu like this happen to them. It’s only when you do let this stu happen to you that you realize your morals and actions are not as aligned as you’d hoped.

Maybe things would have been dierent if I hadn’t seen CJ and Gabe that day, but I did, and I know what I know. Lust and love erase ethical parameters, and that’s just the way it is. We went back to his house to do it. I couldn’t risk the girls coming home, and there was no chance of Diana walking in at Slug—she was away at Keaton’s ski condo for the weekend. Tell Me Lies PDF Book Download

I changed out of my snowake pajamas into normal clothes beforehand, his hands already all over me as I undressed and redressed, his beery breath heavy in my ear. We snuck in the side entrance of Slug, since the party was still in full force. His room was messy and smelled like sweat. I watched his face go slack as he slid himself inside me.

On top of him, I savored each grunt below me, each hungry thrust, feeling satiated with something for the rst time in longer than I could remember. I didn’t even come—I was too distracted by the excitement and relief of being with him again. He shut his eyes in bliss and groaned as he came, gripping my hips. There was almost nothing I loved more than watching him get o.

I found it so privately empowering, the knowledge that his paramount pleasure was mine alone. It was the same feeling I got when I made it a whole day without food and woke up the next morning to the churning in my gut. I sat down in one of the beige armchairs in the family room o the kitchen and took in the familiar details of my house. Tell Me Lies PDF Book Free

The peach-colored curtains, the sterling silver–framed photographs, the white cashmere blanket that CJ had carefully folded over the back of the couch. I closed my eyes, which burned with exhaustion. Traces of the morning’s hangover tugged at the back of my brain. CJ kissed me on the forehead and scrunched up her nose. “You smell like a distillery. Have you been drinking?”

“Not since last night.” “Well, I’m making pizza for dinner. The best hangover cure.” Stephen and I had eaten at Motorino the night before, after he’d taken me to see Wicked on Broadway, and pizza was the last thing I wanted, but I felt too guilty to object. There was something about the way CJ stood there in her frayed Berkeley T-shirt and leggings that made me feel sad and sorry about something.

Charcoal circles ringed her clear blue eyes. Grayish roots were visible at the top of her short blond hair. I studied her face; ne lines seemed to smudge what were once sharper, more dened features. My parents still had their good looks but had begun to appear weather-beaten, like old jackets marked by winters of wear. Tell Me Lies PDF Book Free

My dad turned on a Frank Sinatra album, and an old rendition of “The Way You Look Tonight” lled the room. “Oh, Ben!” CJ smiled at my father. “Our wedding song.” “Did you know you have the most wonderful mother in the world?” he asked, wrapping his arms around CJ’s middle. She laughed and they slipped into a slow dance, looping and twirling around the kitchen.

At six two, my dad stood a good eight inches taller than her. During the slow parts he leaned down and buried his face in her hair. I stepped back out into the intensifying heat and walked east, toward the river. My mind was thick with something slow and heavy like tar; it swirled with the vivid images of CJ and Gabe Petersen that would never stop haunting me.

And my feet pedaling backward and the smell of rain on the pavement and every microscopic never-ending detail of that day—and then it was the tender spot on the back of Stephen’s neck and his bottle-green eyes, and then Marilyn’s wide smile and Marilyn sleeping in huts with AIDS patients in Africa and her jewelry sitting in the dark backroom of Sal’s horrible shop, gone forever. Tell Me Lies PDF Book Free

Like Macy and her Little Mermaid hair, and everything else that would never return. I didn’t stop walking until I had crossed one of the small bridges over the whooshing FDR trac and arrived at the edge of the East River. The morning sun glittered over the water in front of Brooklyn as the sharp smell of salt rolled in.

Runners in neon shorts ashed by, all too in-the-zone to notice me unlatch the clasp on the beautiful teak box and empty the remainder of Marilyn’s jewelry from the world—the junk Sal wouldn’t take—over the railing and into the murky, dark water below. I dropped the box in after everything else and watched it oat for a moment, bobbing lightly in the sun, before disappearing under the oily surface.

As I watched pieces of Marilyn’s life sink into the East River I felt that I was sinking, too, as though the most vital, densest sections of my brain had plummeted out from under me into the water, dragging the rest of my body down with them. The sadness inside me had morphed into something else, something that swapped between numbness and terror. It was the only thing left. I had disappeared from my own being.

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