The Gun PDF Book by Fuminori Nakamura


Click here to Download The Gun PDF Book by Fuminori Nakamura having PDF Size 1 MB and No of Pages135.

I came right up next to the man. He had short hair with a hint of gray, which made him appear to be in his fties. His head was turned to the side, so I could see him quite clearly. I would have expected him to have a terrible look on his face, but there was something quite calm in his expression. His features had hardened, as if he were staring sullenly at something.

The Gun PDF Book by Fuminori Nakamura

Name of Book The Gun
PDF Size 1 MB
No of Pages 135
Language English
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Neither of his eyes was completely open, and his mouth was almost closed—there was nothing disgusting running out of it either. On the concrete where his head lay, there was a dark pool of liquid that, based on present circumstances, I assumed to be blood. For whatever reason, I couldn’t stop staring at the blades of grass that stuck out from between the ngertips of the man’s left hand.

His suit jacket was ipped up in the back and I could see a little bit of his white shirt. I don’t know why, but that white held my gaze for a long time too. The man’s body retained a vigor, and exuded a sense of presence—the concrete and the lawn actually seemed like they were there for his sake.

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That didn’t make any sense, though, because the man was dead. I stood there, as if rooted to the spot, but after a while the pounding of my heart gradually settled down, and nally I managed to regain my composure. This surprised me a little, the fact that I had started to get used to this scene, to this situation.

I WOKE UP in the girl’s apartment. I had intended to leave before she woke up, but I must have been tired, because the girl was no longer beside me in bed. I heard a clink, followed immediately by the rushing sound of a ame. There was an earth-toned curtain that acted as a divider so I couldn’t see, but I gured she must have been cooking something.

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The scent of her on the ngertips of my right hand made me nauseous. I reached out and grabbed my cigarettes from on top of the table, lit one, and inhaled. My discarded clothes were folded neatly at the foot of the bed in a way that made them seem like they weren’t mine. “Oh, I must have woken you up. Sorry,” she said, peeking through the curtain.

It being morning, she was made up simply, and she was wearing a white sweatshirt. I liked what she said to me, it made me feel satised. The words she had spoken were common and ordinary, yet there was something indescribably good about them. Searching for an appropriate response, I said, “No, that’s okay.” I thought that sounded inadequate, so I added, “What time is it?”

I opened the refrigerator, then slowly drank a mineral water I took from inside. I was hungry, so I went to a nearby coffee shop, where I ordered coffee and a tuna sandwich with lettuce. The waitress was plump, and she was heavily made up. Bored by my surroundings, I slugged down the terrible coffee. The Gun PDF Book

A guy who seemed to be the owner was absentmindedly watching a small television that was set on the counter. Neither the waitress nor the owner seemed very enthusiastic about running the coffee shop. The television showed a montage of New York streetscapes. I gured that, in America, there were average citizens who owned a gun like the one I now had.

For them, guns were just a part of everyday life, nothing particularly unusual about them. Yet the strange thing was that I did not envy them. I rarely yearned for anything out of the ordinary. It didn’t much matter to me if everyone else had the same things as I did. The thing was that I had found it.

The same way that, for instance, some people found pleasure drawing pictures or making music, or they relied on work or women, drugs or religion, I felt like I had discovered what I was passionate about. And for me, that thing was nothing more than the gun. Just then, I thought about shooting the gun. This wasn’t the rst time it had occurred to me, but lately I had been thinking about it frequently. The Gun PDF Book

The act of ring the gun had always existed within me, and now I realized that, as its presence intensied, my efforts to keep it under control were diminishing. Up until now, I had amused myself with simply the prospect of shooting the gun, but gradually it had taken on a tinge of reality, almost as if I had caused it to proliferate, and it was starting to worry me.

Previously, the act of ring the gun had belonged to the potentially distant and uncertain future. Yet, since I had started carrying it around with me, I had the feeling that it was only a question of time. The fact of the matter was that I could use the gun at any time, and it loomed over me as a practical reality that the possibility mounted proportionately with each day.

The sight of the gun, the feel of it, evoked a concrete image in my mind of me ring the gun, as if it threatened to break out from within the narrow connes of my xed imagination, seeking a connection with an actual, physical sensation. The fact that someday I would shoot the gun—I had come to believe that this was an absolute certainty. The Gun PDF Book

Being in possession of the gun meant that each day was lled with the potential experience of actually discharging it, and without a doubt there would come a day when I would want to do so—that is to say, I was sure I would re it. That conviction brought the once-distant future closer, almost as if it had taken on a life of its own, and would compel the rst shot to happen.

This clearly dened future outcome wanted me to make it materialize, and soon. This demand was gradually intensifying, to the point where it was making me deranged—it had a hold on me, and wouldn’t let go. I felt the necessity of it —that I needed to re it, at least once. Otherwise, this same internal argument would go on forever, and I thought I might just lose my mind.

IT WAS DEFINITELY the rst time I had been to the university at night. The orange glow of the outdoor lights shone on the surroundings, and cast the buildings in a dim ochre silhouette. Light came from several windows, suggesting that there were still people inside. I assumed they were gathered for some kind of activity or group; there were people around outside as well, some of them couples with arms linked. The Gun PDF Book Download

For whatever reason, Yuko Yoshikawa had said that she wanted to walk around campus. I’d tried to get her to go somewhere for a drink, but she said that she felt like being somewhere quiet. I bought two cans of hot coffee from a vending machine and handed one to Yuko. She thanked me, although she seemed sort of depressed. I asked her repeatedly what was wrong, but she wouldn’t tell me.

I got tired of asking, and decided to light a cigarette. As I nonchalantly brushed over the outside of my jacket where the gun was, I thought about what we might do now. She spoke at last. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m not much company tonight. I don’t know, I can’t really put in into words, but sometimes I get like this. For no reason, just, you know? But it’s good for me to be with someone.

I don’t like to let anyone see me when I’m like this but, well, I didn’t want to be alone. I’m not even sure what I’m talking about, but hey, thanks.” She popped the tab on the coffee I had given her and took a sip. Out in the corridor, the man from the orphanage looked at me with concern. I was surprised to nd him still here, but when I thought about it, I had to admit it was perfectly natural. The Gun PDF Book Download

“How did it go?” he asked, trying to gauge my state. The way that he asked irritated me, but on second thought, that too was a perfectly natural thing to ask. I hesitated for a moment. “We don’t look anything like each other,” I said, when in fact, his eyes and the shape of his nose had looked disturbingly familiar.

“Uh-huh, but . . . Well, I guess I shouldn’t have bothered you,” he said, turning to me with an even more concerned expression. I told myself that what he had done had been out of the kindness of his heart, and I forced myself to tough it out. “And then there’s the eyewitness testimony from that night.

A young man —and I’d suspected that whoever found it would be a young man—this guy had been running, a smile on his face and with his right hand in his pocket. On top of that, the cat’s body was discovered in a nearby park at around the same time as the reported gunshots. This guy had been so stoic he didn’t show a trace of disappointment when the gift to his parents was broken. The Gun PDF Book Download

Now he was running by, smiling with apparent excitement. Right? What do you think? It’s not unreasonable that I would be so convinced, is it? I became interested. No, extremely interested.” When I looked at the man, he was indeed staring right at me. I was waiting for what was going to come next, but he didn’t say anything.

I pretended to look fed up, and with a half-amazed expression, I stubbed out my cigarette. “That’s just arbitrary guesswork, isn’t it? Your own assumptions. This has gone far enough. You don’t have even a shred of proof, do you? That’s some nerve you’ve got, strong-arming me into coming here, when it’s all conjecture, isn’t it? Uh, may I go now? If you continue to harass me, it’ll be me calling the police on you.”

As soon as I was inside her apartment, I took off my coat and drew close to Yuko. “I’ve liked you for a long time,” I said, caressing her face with both hands. Maybe she was surprised—she stared at me with a strange expression and repeated, “What are you saying?” I told her, “I really like you, and I can’t stand it any longer.” I brought my mouth to her lips, but for some reason she tried to avoid me. The Gun PDF Book Free

I told her again, “I’ve really liked you for a long time,” and I tried to push her down onto the bed that was right there. But she resisted ercely and managed to shove me away. I was quite surprised by how much force she used. She looked at me and asked, “Why are you smiling?” I didn’t know what she meant, so I didn’t say anything. But she asked me again, “What are you smiling about?”

She gave me an insistent look, then seemed about to burst into tears. I was sweating, but I doubted that I had been smiling. So I left her apartment. It was still just as cold outside, so I bought a can of hot coffee, just like I had on the way over. The woman often went to that supermarket on Thursday, or sometimes Tuesday, between eight and nine in the evening.

At that hour, the area was already dark, so it seemed to me like the perfect time. I began to consider the act from various angles, carefully investigating the neighborhood around the store to determine the best place to shoot her, along with my own escape route. I bought a black jacket from a local shop, and hung it on a hanger in my apartment. The Gun PDF Book Free

The dark color would be less conspicuous at night, which was absolutely critical for what I was about to do. The jacket was one of those reversible types—it was white on the other side—which I also liked. After the deed, I thought it would be extremely useful to be able to turn it inside out as I made my getaway. When I purchased the jacket, I also bought a pair of black leather gloves. They weren’t a practical necessity, but I paid good money for them, in order to add to the excitement.

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