Click here to Download Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book by Lori Hartman Gervasi Language English having PDF Size 1.1 MB and No of Pages 248.
I am a fighter. I have a fighting spirit. This realization came to me after I’d been a student of karate for quite some time, while applying the ideals, techniques, and disciplines of the martial arts to my life. One day my father and I were visiting when he asked how my training was going. “Great!” “Well, you were always the fighter, weren’t you?” He smiled, acting as if that were a good thing. We laughed together although I wasn’t sure which memory he was recalling.
Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book by Lori Hartman Gervasi
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Was it when I leveled the biggest boy in the school after he’d been harassing me? The time I grabbed some punk by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the railing of a dock because he’d spit on me? Or was it the incident during which I went after a man with a pair of scissors because he’d stolen fifty dollars from me? Yes, I am a fighter. And I have boundaries. My line of defense is a border around me, colored in deep black. Inside that line, it’s my rules.
When someone tries to cross this line, it’s obvious: I see it, I feel it, and I’m well aware that it’s time to get busy. I’ll do anything to secure that line. I’ll move. I’ll get completely out of the situation. I’ll take off running if the need arises. I’ll shout. I’ll get everyone’s attention. I’ll immediately let him know that he’s stepping past a boundary line, that he’s off-limits, treading into sacred territory—my territory. Yes, I have boundaries. Nobody stalks me without my response.
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Nobody invades my personal space. Nobody touches me. Nobody persists or pushes me when I’ve dismissed them or said, “No, thank you.” Nobody makes off-color remarks or speaks in a way that makes me uncomfortable. If they try, I’m on the move and out of there. My boundaries keep me safe. Because I know exactly where they are, I have never doubted myself or hesitated when the moment has come to start swinging.
My inner fighter is often visually manifested. Others perceive it as confidence, discipline, boldness, or something weird or wacky that they can’t quite put their finger on. This fighting spirit has the potential to change the dynamics in a room filled with people. I’ve noticed that there are some who become uncomfortable around it while others bask in the glow. Most of us would prefer not to think about the bad things in life, about anything sick or evil happening to us or to one of our children.
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We would rather not contemplate the thousands of monsters lurking in our world. But no matter what we choose to think, the truth is that predators are everywhere—they walk freely among us. Then, one day, it’s too late. A woman who never thought about threats or attacks discovers her mind has gone blank, her lungs are deprived of oxygen, and her body has stopped moving. Quite simply, she just doesn’t know what to do.
She’s paralyzed. Every day I allow the monsters to emerge from the back of my mind. I see one who comes after me with fierce determination. Because I’m a woman, and smaller than him, he wants to prey on what he believes are my vulnerabilities. He wants to slap me silly, torture me, and kill me. He wants to drag me off into the brush and leave me for dead. He wants all of my possessions.
He wants me to pay for his pathetic life, or for all the women who did him wrong, or for the love he never received at home. He wants to punish me for the sins of total strangers. He expects me to do penance for things I will never begin to know or understand about him. He doesn’t know me, but he intends to leave me maimed or so psychologically damaged that I will never reclaim myself or my life. Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book
My husband would be left with a basket case for a wife. My kids would never again recognize their mother. But the monster doesn’t care. He has urges. He needs a victim. He needs a woman, any woman. He doesn’t care who she is. But I do. I’ve worked on the moment mentally and physically. When my girlfriends were hanging out and going out for dinner, I was moving in a sequence, thinking of this moment. When my family was watching television, I was visualizing this scene.
Despite the ridiculous exaggeration and complete overkill described in our little scenario, hang in there with me for a moment. Now, it’s quite possible this guy has a perfectly good reason for touching your forearm. Obviously, he wants something. Perhaps it’s just your attention he’s after. Maybe he has a question for you. He might mistakenly believe he knows you from somewhere, and it could have been acceptable for him to touch you.
Perhaps he’s having a heart attack and desperately needs your help. He may want to ask you where the pickle aisle is located, because he’s spotted a jar of his favorite pickles in your cart. But let’s hope that a perfect stranger placing a hand on you is sending all your warning lights into a flashing frenzy somewhere in your mind. By touching you—a woman he does not know—this shopper has done something that, quite frankly, just isn’t done. Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book
Innocent or not, he’s just pushed across your line of defense a few degrees, and now it’s your turn for a response. As we begin to explore these options, we discover there are virtually limitless ways in which to respond. And many of them won’t cause extreme harm like numbers one and two would. It’s great to know if a stranger places his hand on your forearm in the grocery store someday.
You don’t have to rupture his testicles or knock a tooth down his throat or yank an eyeball out of its socket in order to make him stop. But you don’t need to stand there doing nothing and waiting for his next move, either. The best choice is number four. It’s firm, yet fluid and alive. It puts you back in the driver’s seat. It gets you moving and buys you distance. Keep in mind that you got active about the situation right away.
You moved to safety. You didn’t wait for him to let go or release you or convince you that it was okay for him to touch you like that. You didn’t pause for his explanation. You didn’t bother waiting to see what he was up to. You gained your freedom with a quick, simple movement. You didn’t have to smack anybody around or hurt anybody’s feelings. You could’ve done the whole darn thing with a smile on your face and still have been just as effective. Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book
You simply went from one area of personal space where you felt controlled by some strange guy to another space, a few feet away with a cart in between. In your new personal space, that guy lost his chance for control. The simple act of moving away from him put you back in control. When life’s dangerous dramas occur, there’s always the woman who asks, “Why me?” She wonders, “How could this have happened to me?” Or, “There I was, minding my own business.
Why did this guy have to pick me?” Or, “I had no clue what to do. Heck, I couldn’t even believe it was happening!” Believe it. Believe it now, and believe it if you ever find that you’ve been chosen as somebody’s next victim. Things have a way of going down in this world. When they do, it can even happen to you. Don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that you are somehow exempt from the monsters. These guys are everywhere in our modern society.
They’re in the workplace, on the streets of your neighborhood, and at the local schools. They show up in the nice areas of town as well as the not-so-nice. They go to church. They wear expensive suits. They get haircuts. They look harmless. Flip on the evening news, and you’ll be quickly introduced to the new monster of the moment. Just when you think you’ve already heard the worst, some sick psycho will redefine the word evil for you. Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book Download
Then, all of his old coworkers and neighbors will give twenty-second sound bites on what a great guy they thought the monster was. “He was very quiet,” they always seem to say. Or, “He kept to himself.” No one is immune. That doesn’t mean you should live your life dwelling on the hopeless state of mankind. Neither should you reside in some constant state of fear or paranoia.
If you run around scared to death of everybody all day long, you’ll never recognize genuine fear or the moment when the real bad guy shows up. But if you take a deep breath and heighten your alertness in terms of how you look at others and study situations, you will begin to notice the warning signals. The last thing you want to do is wake up in the middle of an attack only to wonder how this awful nightmare could have happened to a nice gal like you.
Don’t waste one precious second on that nonsense. Never stop to dwell on the fact that you are a person who didn’t deserve to be assaulted, robbed, or raped. This decision puts you in the real world, where bad things happen to good people all the time. Consider Mary, who was traveling on the freeway. Suddenly her car was rear-ended by the driver behind her. Aware that she needed the other driver’s insurance information and phone number, Mary pulled over and stepped out of her car. Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book Download
The other motorist got out of his car and walked up to her, but he wasn’t carrying his license or insurance card. Without warning, he hauled off and punched Mary in the face. She dropped onto the gravel in a semiconscious state. When Mary regained consciousness, the motorist was gone. Nancy’s story is similar. She and her aunt were attending a relative’s wedding in another city. After the day’s festivities, they went back to their beautiful hotel at the beach.
In the elevator, Nancy pushed the button for the fourth floor while a man who was also riding pushed the button for floor number three. He exited the elevator at the third floor. When I was seventeen years old, I worked at a clothing shop in a strip mall in a small Northern California town. One night, my boyfriend picked me up after my shift, and we went to the record store next door to my workplace.
My boyfriend was browsing on one side of the store, and I was on the other side when the telephone rang. The manager yelled from the counter, “Hey, Lori, there’s a phone call for you.” Right away, I thought that was a little weird, because nobody would have had any idea I was even there. Our decision to check out the record shop was a last-minute, spontaneous thing. Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book Free
I wondered if something had happened at home and perhaps my parents were calling some of the nearby shops, hoping to locate me. I picked up the phone. “Hello?” The unfamiliar voice of a man began to speak. “I’m in the phone booth in the parking lot. I’m watching you right now. I have a gun. This is what I want you to do—” Before he could continue, I was already moving.
With great exaggeration, I pulled the phone from my ear, backed up several steps, and, in complete view of the full-length windows lining the front of the store where he claimed to be watching me, I threw that telephone against the wall as hard as I could. I quickly grabbed the store manager and my boyfriend, and we headed for the office in the back of the store. I told them what had happened, and we called the police. The story ended there.
The phone stalker was never caught, and I never heard from him again. After the call, I questioned the store manager. “What exactly did that man say to you anyway? Did he ask for ‘Lori’? Did he sound like he knew me?” The voice of the caller was totally unknown to me, but the manager had called me over to the phone by my name. Fight Like a Girl and Win PDF Book Free