Click here to Download Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book by Susan Jeffers Language English having PDF Size 2.7 MB and No of Pages 175.
I’m fascinated with what happens during the go-around. As each person shares from the heart, the entire atmosphere begins to change. The tension quickly fades and relief is expressed on everyone’s face. First, my students begin to realize that they are not the only ones in the world feeling afraid. Second, they begin to see how attractive people become as they open up and share their feelings.
Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book by Susan Jeffers
|Name of Book||Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway|
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|No of Pages||175|
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Long before the last person has spoken, a feeling of warmth and camaraderie pervades the room. They are strangers no more. Although the backgrounds and situations of the class members vary greatly, it does not take long for the surface layers of their particular stories to disappear, opening the way for everyone to touch on a very human level.
The scenario above repeats itself in each fear class I teach. At this point you might be wondering how one course can accommodate all the diverse fears reported by the class members—their needs seem to be so varied. It’s true. They do seem varied until we dig a little deeper and look at the underlying cause of all their fears—and everyone else’s. Fear can be broken down into three levels.
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This level of fear can be divided into two types: those that “happen” and those that require action. In all my life I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, “Take a lot of risks today, darling.” She is more likely to convey to her child, “Be careful, darling.” This “Be careful” carries with it a double message: “The world is really dangerous out there” and ”you won’t be able to handle it.”
What Mom is really saying, of course, is, “If something happens to you, I won’t be able to handle it.” You see, she is only passing on her lack of trust in her ability to handle what comes her way. I can remember wanting desperately to have a two-wheel bicycle and my mother’s refusal to buy me one. Her answer to my pleas was always the same: “I love you too much. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
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I translated this to mean: “You are not competent enough to handle a twowheel bike.” Having become older and wiser, I realize now that she was really saying: “If anything happens to you, I will fall apart.” This overprotective mother of mine was once in intensive care after serious surgery, with tubes down her nose and her throat. I whispered in her ear if she could hear me—that I loved her and would be back later.
As I was walking toward the door, I heard a small, weak voice behind me saying—you guessed it— “Be careful.” Even in her anesthetic stupor, she was sending me admonitions of doom and gloom. And I know she typifies the great percentage of mothers out there. Considering how many “be carefuls” our parents bombarded us with, it is amazing that we even manage to walk out the front door!
The cause of our fear quite possibly lies elsewhere. But does it really matter where our selfdoubts come from? I believe not. It is not my approach to analyze the whys and wherefores of troublesome areas of the mind. It is often impossible to figure out what the actual causes of negative patterns are, and even if we did know, the knowing doesn’t necessarily change them. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book
I believe that if something is troubling you, simply start from where you are and take the action necessary to change it. In this case, you know that you don’t like the fact that lack of trust in yourself is stopping you from getting what you want out of life. Knowing this creates a very clear, even laserlike, focus on what needs to be changed. As long as I continued to push out into the world.
As long as I continued to stretch my capabilities, as long as I continued to take new risks in making my dreams come true, I was going to experience fear. What a revelation! Like Janet, and so many of you reading this book, I had grown up waiting for the fear to go away before I took any chances. “When I am no longer afraid . . . then!” For most of my life, I had played the WHEN/THEN game.
And it never worked. Once again you are probably not jumping up and down with joy. I am aware that this revelation is not exactly one you wanted to hear. If you are like my students, you were hoping that my words of wisdom would miraculously make your fears go away. I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t work that way. On the other hand, rather than think of it as a disappointment. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book
Consider it a relief that you no longer have to work so hard on getting rid of the fear. It isn’t going to go away! Not to worry. As you build your confidence in yourself with the exercises suggested herein, your relationship with fear will dramatically alter. I can illustrate this by recounting my first teaching experience when I was studying for my doctorate.
I anticipated the first class period with a tremendous sense of dread. During the three days prior to the class, my stomach felt like it was on a roller coaster. I had prepared eight hours of work for a one-hour class. I had handwritten enough material for three lectures. None of this took away my fear. When the first day of class finally arrived, I felt like I was being sent to the guillotine.
As I stood in front of my students, I could feel my heart pounding and my knees shaking. Somehow I got through that class period—not ecstatically looking forward to the second one the following week. Thankfully, things were easier the next time. (If not, I might have left teaching permanently!) I started to become familiar with the faces in the classroom and connected some of the names to the faces. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book Download
The third class was better than the second, as I started to relax and go with the flow of the students. By our sixth session I was actually looking forward to standing in front of my class. The interaction with my students was stimulating and challenging. One day, as I was approaching that once-dreaded classroom, I realized I was no longer afraid. My fear had turned into sweet anticipation.
I had to teach a number of different courses before I was comfortable walking into class without voluminous notes. But there did come a day when all I had in hand was a one-page outline of what I intended to cover that period. I realized how far I had come. I had felt the fear . . . and did it anyway. As a result, I got rid of my fear of teaching.
Yet, when I took my teaching into the television arena, once again I experienced fear. Until my “doing it” often enough eliminated my fear of appearing on television. So it goes. Another part of the WHEN/THEN game I used to play had to do with self-esteem. “When I feel better about myself . . . then I’ll do it.” This is another mix-up in the order of reality. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book Download
I kept thinking that if I could improve my self-image, then the fear would go away and I could start accomplishing things. I didn’t know exactly how my self-image was going to improve. Perhaps by my growing older and wiser, or through feedback from other people, or a miracle would make me feel wonderful about myself.
I actually bought myself a belt buckle that read I’M TERRIFIC, thinking that through osmosis I’d get the message. Read it again. I know it’s hard to take in at first. It says that no matter how “secure” any of us feel in the little cocoon we have built for ourselves, we live, consciously or unconsciously.
With the fear that the day of reckoning will eventually come. The more helpless we feel, the more severe is the undercurrent of dread that comes with knowing there are situations in life over which we have no control—such as the death of a spouse or the loss of a job. We find ourselves becoming obsessive about possible catastrophes. “What if . . . ? ”Fear permeates our lives. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book Download
That is the irony of Fear Truth 5: people who refuse to take risks live with a feeling of dread that is far more severe than what they would feel if they took the risks necessary to make them less helpless—only they don’t know it! I can illustrate with the case of Janice, a middle-aged housewife, who “planned” her life in such a way as to avoid risk taking as much as possible.
She married a successful businessman who handled both their lives. Janice allowed this situation because it was more comfortable for her never to put herself on the line. But, as the saying goes, “Life is what happens when we’ve made other plans!” At the age of fifty-three, her husband, Dick, had a stroke, which left him partially disabled.
One day she was totally taken care of and the next she was totally taking care of. The transition wasn’t easy. After fighting the rage of “Why did this happen to me?” She started to accept the fact that she was now in charge of both her own and her husband’s survival. Numbed, she went through the motions of learning his business, handling decisions regarding his health. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book Free
And waking up every morning with the understanding that it was now up to her. After a while, the numbness left, the fog cleared, and she discovered a profound sense of peace she had never experienced before. She started to realize the heavy price she had paid to be taken care of. Prior to her husband’s stroke, Janice’s thinking had been permeated with the phrase “what if?”
She always worried about the future, never enjoying her todays. She had lived with the underlying dread, “My God, what if something happened to him?” She had often remarked to her friends, “I hope I die before he does. I couldn’t live without him.” And she thought she couldn’t—which is a less-than-satisfactory way to go through life. This all changed as she found strength she never thought she had.
She now knows the answer to her question “what if?” The answer is: “I’ll handle it!” The Path is much like the experience of climbing a mountain. The climb is tough. But each time you stop to look around, the view becomes more spectacular. You see a greater expanse, and the “flaws” of the world below disappear as you see more and more of the whole. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book Free
As you climb higher, you are detached from the heaviness below. You feel lighter. You feel freer. And you are propelled higher by the increasing beauty you see. From this vantage point, you become more compassionate as well. You may dislike some individuals intensely for their cruel behavior.
But from a higher place, you’ll see more of the whole. These individuals are more than their “flawed” behavior. They, too, have a magnificent interior place, which they haven’t discovered yet. Hence you’ll begin to feel their sadness and not be so harsh in your judgment. The journey upward is not always a steady climb. You may climb, then stop and rest, regroup. So, too, with the spiritual journey.
Sometimes it may seem as though you have stopped growing. Not so. You are just consolidating your information. Sometimes when you think you’ve finally “got it,” the universe will step in to show you haven’t. I’ve adopted a phrase of Lena Horne’s that keeps me humble: “I’ve come a long way . . . maybe!” I have learned that there is always more to learn. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway PDF Book Free
And experience is our greatest teacher. That is why I am so in love with the aging process. Youth so rarely understands what age allows us to know. We need to go through many life experiences before the power within is brought forward in all its glory. And as long as we see ourselves as unfolding beings, there is no wish to go back one single day—and age becomes a beautiful thing.