Click here to Download All Your Perfects PDF Book by Colleen Hoover Language English having PDF Size 2 MB and No of Pages 240.
“We used to play this word game on our laptops at night,” he says. “I was really good at it. I’m the one who introduced Sasha to the game, but she would always beat my score. Every damn night.” He stretches his legs out. They’re a lot longer than mine. “It used to impress me until I saw an eight-hundred-dollar charge for the game on her bank statement.
All Your Perfects PDF Book by Colleen Hoover
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She was buying extra letters at ve dollars a pop just so she could beat me.” I try to picture this guy playing games on his laptop at night, but it’s hard. He looks like the kind of guy who reads novels and cleans his apartment twice a day and folds his socks and then tops o all that perfection with a morning run. “Ethan doesn’t know how to change a tire.
We’ve had two ats since we’ve been together and he had to call a tow truck both times.” Graham shakes his head a little and says, “I’m not looking for reasons to excuse the bastard, but that’s not so bad. A lot of guys don’t know how to change a tire.” “I know. That’s not the bad part. The bad part is that I do know how to change a tire.
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He just refused to let me because it would have embarrassed him to have to stand aside while a girl changed his tire.” There’s something more in Graham’s expression. Something I haven’t noticed before. Concern, maybe? He pegs me with a serious stare. “Do not forgive him for this, Quinn.” His words make my chest tighten. “I won’t,” I say with complete condence. “I don’t want him back after this.
I keep wondering why I’m not crying. Maybe that’s a sign.” He has a knowing look in his eye, but then the lines around his eyes fall a little. “You’ll cry tonight. In bed. That’s when it’ll hurt the most. When you’re alone.” Everything suddenly feels heavier with that comment. I don’t want to cry but I know this is all going to hit me any minute now.
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I met Ethan right after I started college and we’ve been together four years now. That’s a lot to lose in one moment. And even though I know it’s over, I don’t want to confront him. I just want to walk away and be done with him. I don’t want to need closure or even an explanation, but I’m scared I’ll need both of those things when I’m alone tonight. “We should probably get tested.”
Graham once asked me why I take such long showers. I don’t remember what my excuse was. I’m sure I said they were relaxing, or that the hot water was good for my skin. But I take such long showers because it’s the only time I allow myself to grieve. I feel weak for needing to grieve since no one has died. It doesn’t make sense that I grieve so much for those who never even existed.
I’ve been in the shower for half an hour now. When I woke up this morning, I incorrectly assumed it would be a quick, painless shower day. But that changed when I saw the blood. I shouldn’t be shocked. It happens every month. It’s happened every month since I was twelve. I’m standing at against the shower wall, allowing the spray of the shower to fall over my face. All Your Perfects PDF Book
The stream of water dilutes my tears and it makes me feel less pathetic. It’s easier to convince myself I’m not crying that hard when most of what’s falling down my cheeks is water. I’m doing my makeup now. Sometimes this happens. One second I’m in the shower, the next second I’m not. I lose myself in the grief. I get so lost that by the time I climb my way out of the dark, I’m in a new place.
This new place is me, naked, in front of the bathroom mirror. I slide the lipstick over my bottom lip and then my top. I set it down and stare at my reection. My eyes are red from the grief but my makeup is in place, my hair has been pulled back, my clothes are folded neatly on the counter. I look at my body in the mirror, covering both breasts with my hands.
From the outside, I look healthy. My hips are wide, my stomach is at, my breasts are average and perky. When men look at me, sometimes their eyes linger. Eleanor laughs, welcoming the change of subject as much as I do. She starts telling my mother about his new car and his midlife crisis, which technically can’t be a midlife crisis because he’s well into his sixties, but I don’t correct them. All Your Perfects PDF Book
I excuse myself and head to the restroom in an attempt to run away from the constant reminder of my infertility. I should have corrected her when my mother said Graham isn’t interested in adoption. It’s not that he’s not interested, we just haven’t had any luck in getting approved with an agency due to Graham’s past.
I don’t understand how an adoption agency won’t take into consideration that outside of that devastating conviction when he was a teenager, he’s never so much as had a parking ticket. But, when you’re only one of thousands of couples applying to adopt, even one strike against you can rule you out. My mother is wrong.
Neither of us is opposed to the idea, but we just can’t get approved and we can no longer aord to keep trying. The treatments drained our bank account and now that we have a second mortgage on our home, we wouldn’t even know how to aord the process if we were approved. There are so many factors, and even though people think we haven’t considered all of our options, we’ve considered them many times. All Your Perfects PDF Book Download
Hell, Ava even bought us a fertility doll when she went to Mexico three years ago. But nothing—not even superstition—has worked in our favor. Graham and I decided early last year to leave it up to chance, hoping it will happen naturally. It hasn’t. And to be honest, I’m tired of swimming upstream.
Even though I’ve all but given up on the chances of becoming pregnant, I’m obviously still clinging to that small sliver of hope on at least a monthly basis. I don’t know if that makes me strong or pathetic. Sometimes I feel I’m both. Graham drops me on the bed, our clothes covering the distance from the kitchen to our room like scattered breadcrumbs.
He settles himself between my legs and then pushes inside me with a groan. I take him in with silence. Graham is consistent in every possible way outside of the bedroom. But inside the bedroom, I never know what I’m going to get. Sometimes he makes love to me with patience and selessness, but sometimes he’s needy and quick and selsh. All Your Perfects PDF Book Download
Sometimes he’s talkative while he’s inside me, whispering words that make me fall even more in love with him. But sometimes he’s angry and loud and says things that make me blush. I never know what I’m going to get with him. That used to excite me. But now I tend to want only one of the many sides of him in the bedroom.
The needy, quick, and selsh side of him. I feel less guilt when I get this side of him because lately, the only thing I really want out of sex is the end result. Sadly, tonight is not the selsh version of Graham in the bedroom. Tonight he’s the exact opposite of what I need from him right now. He’s savoring every second of it.
Pushing into me with controlled thrusts while he tastes all the parts of my neck and upper body. I try to be as involved as he is, occasionally pressing my lips to his shoulders or pulling at his hair. But it’s hard to pretend I don’t want him to get it over with. I turn my head to the side so he can leave his mark on my neck while I wait. All Your Perfects PDF Book Free
He eventually begins to pick up the pace and I tense a little, anticipating the end, but he pulls out of me unexpectedly. He’s lowering himself down my body, drawing my left nipple into his mouth when I recognize this pattern. He’s going to make his way down, slowly tasting every part of me until he eventually slides his tongue between my legs.
Where he’ll waste a precious ten minutes and I’ll have to think too much about what day it is, what time it is, what fourteen days from now will be, what I would do or say if the test is nally positive, how long I’ll cry in the shower if it’s negative again. Graham stares at me a moment. “Maybe you’re right. Is it so bad that I missed it when I was convinced that you were in love with me?
When you would get excited to see me? When you wanted to make love to me because you wanted to and not because you just wanted to get pregnant?” He leans forward, pegging me with his stare. “We can’t have kids, Quinn. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I didn’t marry you for the potential kids we might have had together one day. All Your Perfects PDF Book Free
I fell in love with you and I committed to you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. That’s all I cared about when I said my vows. But I’m starting to realize that maybe you didn’t marry me for the same reasons.” “That’s not fair,” I say quietly. He can’t insinuate that I wouldn’t have married him if I’d known he couldn’t have kids.
And he can’t say he still would have married me if he’d had that knowledge prior to our marriage. A person can’t condently proclaim what they would have done or how they would have felt in a situation they’ve never been in. Graham stands up and walks to the kitchen. He grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and I sit silently as he drinks it.
I wait for him to come back to the table to continue the conversation, because I’m not ready to speak again. I need to know everything he’s feeling before I decide what to say. What to do. When he takes his seat again, he reaches across the table and puts his hand over mine. He looks at me sincerely. “I will never put a single ounce of blame on you for what I did. All Your Perfects PDF Book Free
I kissed someone who wasn’t you and that was my fault. But that’s only one issue out of a dozen issues we have in this marriage and they are not all my fault. I can’t help you when I don’t know what’s going on in your head.” He pulls my hand closer and cradles it between both of his. “I know that I have put you through hell these past few weeks. And I am so, so sorry for that.
More than you know. But if you can forgive me for putting you through the worst thing imaginable, then I know we can get through the rest of it. I know we can.” “There were things I needed to say that you never really wanted to hear.” He grabs his envelope and walks out the back door, onto Ava and Reid’s back porch. I take the box to the guest bedroom and close the door.
I sit alone on the bed, holding the only envelope from him that I expected to nd in the box. The one from our wedding night. He wrote the date in the top right corner of the envelope. I open the other envelopes and I pile the pages on top of each other in the order they were written. I’m too scared to read any of it. Too scared not to. All Your Perfects PDF Book Free
When we locked this box all those years ago, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that we wouldn’t need to open it before our twenty-fth wedding anniversary. But that was back before reality set in. Back before we knew that our dream of having kids would never come true. Back before we knew that the more time that passed and the more devastating moments I experienced and the more Graham made love to me, that it would all start to hurt.